Bengeo Cricket Club Bengeo C.C squad

Bengeo C.C

Captain : R J Gray

"Ricky-James" Gray or Captain Courageous (as no-one calls him) leads by example with his levels of batting, bowling and fielding. Looked up to by, not only the colts, but every other player on the field. However, he is best known for wearing more layers of clothing for a summer sport than any known human being. His hobbies include being a part-time ride technician at the local fairground where he currently holds the record for number of spins of a Waltzer in a minute "scream if you want to go faster girls..!"

When RJ is not working the fairgrounds he earns quite a decent wage impersonating everyone's favourite Dr Who - Matt Smith.

Vice Captain : Paul Dellow

Paul "The babysitter" Dellow is the statto of Bengeo Cricket Club. He knows almost everything there is to know about the game and can probably remember every run he has ever made. Although I have a goldfish that could remember all his runs this season! Often found on the field of play with a baby monitor clipped to his hip and frequently disappears between overs to do his stints of both feeding and changing . Another good role-model to the colts and all round good bloke.
Karl Baker
Karl "DJ Speedo" Baker

A LinkedIn photo older than the average age of the team, is a reminder that Karl still hangs on to the past. Although his "frame" has moved up a few sizes in recent years, his wardrobe hasn't. Karl, Superdry Medium size is only for the Japanese and Action Man dolls! An Ex-professional footballer for Colchester and part-time DJ, Karl is multi talented. The only problem is with two glass knees he is pretty much disabled. In fact he would be more use in the field, if we planted him at one end of the wicket and placed bails on his head.

However, stick a bat in his hand and Karl really comes into his own. Never shy of opening the batting no matter what the situation. Karl is an all round nice guy and is great with the younger members of the squad. He spends a lot of his time raising money and applying for grants to keep the club expanding and personally sponsers the team through his business, which is a fantastic commitment.

Due to the fact that he does so much for the club, we overlook the fact that he is from T'up Norf and concentrate on the other underprivileged (Northern) player(s) instead.
Mark Bateman
Are you not entertained? The gladiator of Bengeo........Comes out fighting to turn games round by run outs, spin king wickets and collingwood batting grit.
Harry Graves

Harry "Nancy" Graves is clearly the most improved colt player at Bengeo. He only found the game 2 seasons ago and has improved rapidly since this time. A fine spin bowler and mean slasher with the bat he has become an integral part of the team.

His rise has been made all the more incredible by the fact that he has done it wearing the tightest trousers west of the Bolshoi ballet. Trousers so tight that the boy can read and reply to messages on his phone, without removing it from his pocket!

With a weekend king pair already in his locker - Nancy looks odds on for Duck Cup this year. However, there are some other strong candidates who may come good as the season goes on.
Mark Guy

"Guttie", "Gutter", "Gutbuster" or "Superfly" are just some of the names he goes by (three of which are apt). This boy has more names than his little mobility scooter has top speed. To say his sense of humour is a bit dry is like saying Oscar Pistorius overreacted a touch!

Mark is a fantastically accurate bowler who regularly sees a 10 over spell go for not very much. His wicket count would be helped greatly if any of his team mates could actually catch. However, the look of disdain and utter hatred you get as the ball spills out of your grasp and hits the grass is worth every moment. The problem is that the G-man is so agile and cat-like in the field that no-one else can reach his exacting standards.

Mark is a fantastic team mate and a joy to be around. Especially for the younger players who are learning the art of the sarcastic one liner!

Charlie Lee

Widely considered to be one of the luckiest individuals to hold a position in professional sport, "Chas" has managed to attain the accolade of being slightly above average in almost every sport.

He constantly brings up his Tottenham Hotspur playing career in any social or sporting occasion. Impressing with his tales of Slavia Prague and Sporting Braga - Charlie has everyone hanging on his every word. Such is the level of his achievements with the North London giants that we include his record below for your wonderment.


Season League FA Cup League Cup Other Total
Division Apps Goals Apps Goals Apps Goals Apps Goals Apps Goals
Tottenham Hotspur 2006–07 Premier League 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0


** all figures above gathered and compiled by statistic experts of some years

Alex Mearns

Unfortunately Alex is Australian, however as we have a Northerner in the side, he pretty much gets away with it. A demon left arm fast bowler and extremely good batsman mean Alex has fitted perfectly into a team that had neither.

As he is Australian (basically an ex criminal) we get a subsidy from the government for getting him off the streets and away from temptation. This has meant we can install extra CCTV in the pavilion to keep an eye on him.

Bengeo welcomes Alex as this year’s overseas player. Just make sure he doesn't enter the changing rooms unsupervised.

Neil O'Toole

Neil "Steve" O'Toole moved down from somewhere up North. None of us really care as everywhere up there looks the same (wet and dreary). He started his Bengeo career with a fantastic 18 ball over. We all thought he was bowling straight through his spell but it turns out the umpire took exception to him missing the wicket with unerring regularity. After a slight injury, caused by simply fielding as far as we could tell, Steve has made a solid return and looked good with the bat. He's a great all-rounder so the team will definitely benefit from his services as the season goes on.

A fantastic guy to be around as he brings enthusiasm and encouragement to the field. At least we think it is encouragement as none of us speaks Norf..!

Ian Ruskin

Ian is also known as Burt due to striking resemblance to the ageing American actor Burt Reynolds. He is a fearsome striker of the cricket ball and deadly accurate with the ball in hand. A great character to be around and a real role-model for the younger players.

NB. Don't be fooled by this very old photo, in real life he is much bigger now!

Matt Seeley
Matt "socks" Seeley is single-handedly trying to bring the leg warmer back into vogue. During some games he has so much concertina'd material around the bottom of his legs that he has to stand with his ankles 3 feet apart.

A tireless worker for the club for as many years as anyone can remember and a fearless opening bat mean that Socks is definitely a key man at Bengeo.

He also has the nicest cars in the club and drives to away games to make the opposition think we're posh. Although some say his decision to get rid of the Porsche was purely practical. There are others that think he realised he was just too old!

Jack Smith
Jack "Smiffy" Smith is one half of the banter brothers (the more annoying half). As wicket-keeper he is expected to be a sandwich short of a picnic anyway but manages to take it that extra mile. Constantly panna'ing (nutmegging for older readers), with football or cricket ball, anyone stupid enough to walk within punching distance of him is just one of his endearing little trademarks. Having said all that he is quickly becoming a talented little cricketer. Lightning quick reflexes behind the stumps and a very thoughtful and steady batsman.
Justin Smith
Simply put, he is worst player at the club. Hadn't played cricket for 30 years prior to his debut last season and quite frankly it shows. Frequently drops catches and fields using knees and other incorrect parts of the body. Can't bat, throw and bowling is off limits due to his right shoulder being in several pieces. Apart from all that he is one of the most important members of the team. This mainly (totally) due to the fact that he drives his sons to the away games who are much better than he is. However, if you ever have the misfortune to speak to him you will find out he is having the time of his life.
Liam Smith

Liam "full-kit wonder" Smith is the second and elder half of the banter brothers. Liam's philosophy has always been - "it is never too early to put your whites on" frequently leaving home kitted up, and "you can never bowl too fast". Marks out his run up 3 times every over to produce maximum velocity and erraticism. However, when bowling his best deliveries is simply unplayable. He has been working on his batting over the winter and is definitely going to score runs this year too.

As a founder member of the renowned Banter Brothers he does keep everyone smiling and upbeat on and off the pitch (by upbeat I mean "annoyed" mainly).

Andrew Thrussell
Nicknames of "The Bearded Wonder" or "Sweary Mary" could both do justice to Andy. A good solid cricketer with both bat and ball and a safe pair of hands to boot. His language makes Gordon Ramsay sound like the Queen. He is the only person I know who can effortlessly slip 7,quite major swear words, into a 9 word sentence. The creation of the swear pot has seen his language diminish a touch but has also meant he has had to eBay most of his cricket gear. Unfortunately this included his "whites" leaving him with just his set of "murky greys".!
Jonny Underdown

Jonny Underdown, son of cricketing legend Phil Underdown, is great bowler and a quality batsman. More than holds his own in the adult game and is constantly surprising the opposition.

His high pitched screams from the bowlers end can, on occasions, surprise our own fielders too. In a recent game only local dogs could hear Jonny's scream "Catch it" - in fact you could see the ones around the ground actually start looking up to see where the ball was coming from. Unfortunately, Dello doesn't have canine hearing and took the ball clean on the collar bone.

Phil Underdown

Phil "Robocop" Underdown, a player who is now more metal, plastic, tape and Ralgex than actual man. The vast crowds that we attract at Bengeo ooh, ahh and wince every time "Robo" does his trademarked dolphin dive whilst fielding. His wife Jo seems to be the only one unmoved by his exploits, though she is normally thumbing through the pages of their life assurance policy with a beaming smile on her face! Phil is the only player I have ever known whose pre-game regime includes both WD40 and 3 in 1 oil.!

Phil is a vastly experienced cricketer and has infectious enthusiasm in the field. He is also a strong and assured batsman who is able to build an innings with any partner, but enjoys someone who is willing to sprint between the wickets. Therefore, only his fellow players who are under 16 (stone!!) actually enjoy batting with him. He is also a good role model to our younger players which includes his own son.

He is also another tireless, volunteer worker for the club and member of the sports committee.

Craig Walker
Currently on a year out "playing with" (sorry) "finding" himself. Watch this space!
Mick Walker

Micky Walker is the elder statesman of Bengeo CC. He is a man, so old, that there weren't actually history lessons when he was at school. He remains a great bowler, managing to put the ball in the right areas with almost every delivery, and is a fierce competitor. He has a wealth of knowledge which he has no hesitation in passing on to the young players around him and this will stand them in good stead for the future.

Announcement: If anyone knows an optician that can supply him with a prescription batting helmet please get in contact. He desperately needs to be able to see the ball again, if he is going to get any runs.

Performance history